I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
