Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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