the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
