i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
