i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
