I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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