I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
