sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
