you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We're too hungover to prance.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
