My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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