She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
