I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
