Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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