I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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