I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
