Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You need Xanax blowdarts
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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