Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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