Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
