now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize