If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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