Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
