super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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