Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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