just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
