Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
