sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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