I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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