Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
