I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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