My hand turned me down
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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