I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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