My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize