and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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