You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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