you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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