You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
