Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
