he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You are the jesus of drinking
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
