Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
