I can tuck mytits in my pants
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you inspire me to be a worse person
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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