She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
