hotel room ftw
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
