it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
