He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
