I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
