Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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