Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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