Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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