I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We named our party play list daddy issues
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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