Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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