C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
