okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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