they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
