tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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