This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
