HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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