nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
