He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
