Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
