I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
