it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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