that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
