I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
