Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
