just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
